math is sexy

I’m fine. No bruises or scratches. Come to think about it I was lucky they didn’t have a knife or gun on them because I did fight back.

So we’re at the King Khan + BBQ Show and I wanna get some merch. I open my wallet and see I’m cashless. I decide to hit up an ATM at a gas station down the street and get my buddy Josh to come along. All the gas stations are flanked with hoodlums hanging around so I’m wary. Josh convinces me we’ll be fine since we’re together and it’s status quo around this part of town. Psh.

The first gas station’s ATM is out of commision. All the brothers in that one are shooting the shit and not even paying attention to us. I oddly felt safe. We move to the next one. There are two guys inside this one hanging out. I see them eying us (at this point I shoulda ejected, they were looking at us like prey). However I felt safe because Josh was there and there were more gas station employees working than hoodlums. I begin the process to withdraw money for the weekend, $80 to be exact. The money drops. Hoodlum A, let’s call him “Da Magician” (I’ll explain later), snakes his dirty paws, grabs the money, then tries to bolt. I’m not gonna take that shit. Josh and I both grab Da Magician and try to take him down (fucking up the store in the process). Cans of Colt 45 go everywhere, some opening and spraying. Hoodlum B, let’s call him “Big Motha Fucka”, proceeds to get Josh off of Da Magician. There are now two brawls.

The gas station attendents are now aware that shit is going down, call the cops, and lock the doors. We’re quarentined. Josh is in a full nelson and I’m still trying to take down Da Magician. I notice he has hidden the money in one of his 324923792385 pockets in his Fubus. I give up and let him go thinking he’s not going anywhere, and the cops are on the way. He’ll get searched, I’ll get my money back, answer some questions, and be on my way.

The cops show up. I tell them what happened. They proceed to search Da Magician who is completely denying everything the entire time. The money magically never turns up. He could have hid it in his asshole for all I know (I would debate even wanting the money back at that point).

Karma is a bitch. It turns out Da Magician was wanted and proceeds to get carted to jail. Big Motha Fucka gets off scott free since the cameras were not working (WTF) and the gas station employees didn’t directly see him do anything. No evidence.

Fuck ATL.